30/09/2021
It's been nearly 2 weeks on the tablets since the intravenous and the Oncologist is also due to call me this morning with the CT Scan results, I haven't been too bad on the tablets considering some of the storys you hear of people on Chemotherapy. The only problem I have had was 24hr hiccups, You couldn't believe how bad it is, It is literally every 5 to 10 seconds too. It had a massive impact on my sleep.
The Oncologist calls me to discuss my results and how I'm coping after my first round of Chemotherapy. I explain about the hiccups and how they have impacted me, He prescribes a tablet that should help but I will need to travel to Heartlands Hospital in the middle of Birmingham on a Friday afternoon to collect them. He gets around to the CT Scan results & it's not good news, Tiny specs of Cancer have now also spread to my Lungs.
"Why is this happening too me", I can't seem to have any good news regarding this awful fucking disease. I can't catch a break, I couldn't even have a fighting chance of beating this thing. "Why couldn't I have been told it's stage 1 or stage 2". This is also the time in the last 2 weeks that I start getting feelings of anger and I'm not an angry person at all and all it does is make me feel more crappy. During this period I've also been more emotional and crying much more. I decide that I need to give serious consideration to having some form of counselling so I have a re-read of some counselling information that the Stoma nurses sent me through the post.
A Macmillan leaflet explaining a link up with Bupa for a 1000 Cancer patients seems promising macmillan ,I make the phone call and they explain that I sound like a candidate to receive this counselling, They tell me somebody will call me back to be assessed. A few days later bupa call me back, I have an half hour session answering the questions, I'm told that I'm suffering from depression from the answers I give and that I will be suitable to be taken on and that it will be done over 6 sessions and may involve CBT. Despite been a Macmillan and Bupa link up I'm told the sessions will be provided by Onebright.
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